Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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