Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
