I'm drive I can fine osifer
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
