Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
