I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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