One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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