you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
