It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
