dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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