We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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