I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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