i think i have herpe
just one?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
