Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
