I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
