hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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