yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
