My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
