before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
