I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
