I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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