belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize