I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
