You really coming over, don't trick.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
