are you so shy because you have an std?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
