I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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