Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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