obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
