I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
