theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
if only i could text you this smell
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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