dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
