do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize