so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize