Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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