okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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