dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
