guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
