Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
