I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
well you can't waste a boner
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
