you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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