Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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