I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
