I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
