why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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