Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you had me at cake vodka
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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