Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
