Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
