He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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