New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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