Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
