I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize