your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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