wat bout pragnant strippers??
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize