She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
