you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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