Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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