Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize