There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I need water and some morals
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
