fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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