I must be too annoying 4 u.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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