Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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