he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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